Whose friend knows me best.. by Lacey Mosley

Shy, silent type, emo or rocker, cute, that's how people discribe me, sometimes they would even say "you're kind,generous, humble". But behind saying those things, my question is that "do they know me?". I was staring outside the window when I asked myself, am I really me? am I showing the real me? or am I just pretending to be somebody whom I am not . Millions of stars watchin' me cry but nobody's listening to me as I shout. Everything's hidden inside me. Only the starS, trees, pens, papers, books and music instruments knows my hidden emotions. Why can't i bring them out? There are times I am wondering, "how could these things be happening?". Why do I have a lot of friends inspite of not saying everything inside this heart of mine. Who will I blame of being someone I must not be. Am I really showing the real me? These papers and pens around me help me much, these instruments help me bring out the best inside me. I always write, I shout and scream using them. There are times while i'm in a room of white walls with nothing to hear but the tick-tock of the cllock, a question passed my mind "what is pretension?" Am I pretending or am I showing the real me?.

Friends help me much. They have been my relatives for so long. They are my shoulder to lean on. To listen and to watch is are the common jobs of friends. I do have two kinds of friends, my old closest friend and my best friend. I love them both so much, but I am wonderin' who among them both knows me best. My old closest friend. Actually I never called her my best friend because she never wanted to be called so. We've been friends for 4 years and for those years, we've had millions of memories together. We've laugh together and cried beside each other. I can't compare our friendship to anything. We always make time together. With her I cried, her shoulders became my strenght and her voice, advices and messages inspired me. She changed my pessimistic thinking to optimistic mind. We've been in a lot of battle. And it's a miracle we're still together inspite of all the misunderstandings that we had. We've been together for so long and our weakness is our strenght. But i'm still shy to tell her some things. I don't know how we became very much contented having each other and confident together. We always say "Live your life inside a dream".


Rock music, that's what tied me and my best friend. I love rock music because it helps me express my deepest emotions and so he is. In him, I can tell anything but I can't do everything. whatever kind of word I wanted to say can be bring out when I am with him, but I cannot cry when I am with him. I just don't know why. But, he knows a lot of things about me. My Best friend helps me ease my pain and he makes me laugh. There comes a time that I am very much desperate to hear his voice and when that time comes, I just listen to the songs we used to sing, I just can't take him out of my mind. we became best friends because I helped him more than he helped me. When I am with him my whispers turns to shouting and my shouting turns to tears, then after sometime my tears turns to laughter and it will all take away my fears. He tells me his secrets 'cause I want it and i'll listen intensively. That's how we spent our time together. We're living together by saying "Our music will bind us and our friendship will keep us forever.


Millions of memories are treasured inside my heart. My memories with my friends will always live in me. Remembering our unbridled outburst of emotions, deafening me. It paralyzes me knowing I can't choose who's the best. They both know me much, but who's friend knows me best? I love them both and I am very much craving to hear their voice. They gave me a prommise to love and treasure me forever. So I will always keep them. But still my question is not answered, who's friend knows me best? My old closest friend who dreams with me or my best friend who cries and laughhs with me. They both list5en to me and I never wanted to run away from them. I'm feeling so inspired having them. Even if i'm selfish fake, they're still a true friend. I can always come to them. Will I go to my old closest friend who lives life with her perfect words and dreams or will I go to my best friend who lives life the way he wanted it to be, as freely as he can. I can't choose, all that I can think is that I won't say farewell to them. I'll live my life with them, dream my greatest dreams together with them and play my kind of music forever with them.


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"I'm a silent type of person but there are times that i'm very much talkative. I always go to what is majority, I mean I usually go to where my friends go. I usually present myself with eyeliner and my bangs covering my eyes. I love listening to my kind of music, reading novels, watching movies and writing poems. I love music so much, the reason why I can now write my poem. Screamo is the type of music I do listen. Because through this type of music I can shout and scream. For some it was considered noise but for me it's a type of melody that helps me bring out my deepest emotions. It may not have a good background sound for some but if they try to understand the lyrics, the message of the song, they would certainly love it. Reading novels is one of my best past times, because reading helps me improve to whatever knowledge I have now. After reading sometime, i'll write my own poem. Writing is one of the best practices I perform to improve my knowledge. Actually I have my notepad of poems and essays to review how deep and wide my intelligence is. I also love watching it's one of the best past times. Because i'm enjoying at the same time i'm learning. I don't like too much girly stuffs. I hate using shoulder bags. What I like is using backpack and body bag. I sometimes use doll shoes but most of the time I use rubber shoes (chuck taylor). I hate wearing skirt I just use pants. I'm using girly blouses but I use t-shirts more. That's me, a simple person who loves to live my life on how I want it to be." -- Lacey Mosley